Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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