i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
love makes seman taste better
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
