I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
