I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
