I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is classic penis vs brain.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
