just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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