It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
