dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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