The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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