At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
