He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
