i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
