I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
