will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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