the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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