So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
