I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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