I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
