Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
