not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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