we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
