Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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