It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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