I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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