so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
