What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize