in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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