i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
