I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
