Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
