I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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