During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
