he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize