i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
