I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
