this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
