I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize