i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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