Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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