brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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