I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize