i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
