lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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