Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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