are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
