Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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