did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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