i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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