I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
