There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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