your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
