the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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