I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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