she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
