im holly from the hills drunk
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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