But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
