Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
