it wasn't lemon gatorade
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
