Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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