Me too!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize