so explain again why im purple
no
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
