i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
