Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
