He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
