omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
