We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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