The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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