No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
