He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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