the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize