Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
